is that blind melon's bee girl? is she crying in the corner because all her friends left her because she's fucking weird and makes everyone uncomfortable and the blind melon guy actually really hated her and no one wants to be turned into a pearl jam song, but especially not a little girl? nice tutu, bee girl.

no, not today! today, that's what i decided to wear. let's get some close ups:


oh, work it, rupaul! but that detail...i can't get it out of my head...what is it?


oh, this old thing? it's a katamari damacy hoodie i embroidered for and TOOK BACK from my (ex)boyfriend when we broke up. imagine! imagine that! what an adult i must be! adult enough to play a video game obsessively enough to choose an obscure character add-on to embroider into a sweatshirt! the real surprise is having had a boyfriend to give it to! HA!


no denouement today, people. it's all climax here. today, while trying to explain in photograph that i was wearing stretch pants not on accident, and trying to demonstrate the mobility afforded by these pants, i actually fell over. you can see that i am shocked. it was shocking.

so, that's a novelty embroidered video game hoodie, a houston boy scouts t-shirt, and black stretch pants that, yes, readers, are capri length. and this is not because i had no time to get dressed. these aren't even my pajamas. this is what i chose to wear after dilligently searching for the best possible outfit out of all possible outfit combinations known to man and known to my man-closet.

and this is only day one.